Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Day I Became a Mother

I just recently had a friend message me on Facebook to say that she looks up to me and that I am inspirational as a mother. This completely made my day! She is pregnant with her first child  and looks at my posts for inspiration and direction. I thought that this made talking about how I felt the day I became a mother from the 30 things my kids should know about me list perfect timing for now.
Nolan and I, 5 hours after birth
Let's back up to when I found out I was pregnant. It was January 2nd, 2010 that I actually suspected that I might be pregnant. I kept getting a cycle, or so I thought. It just happened to be spotting, but I didn't see it as abnormal. When I finally took the test and it almost instantly said pregnant, I cried. Not like "I can't believe I am going to be a mom" kind of cry, but an "oh no, I have to tell my mom that I too got pregnant before marriage." I ruined the experience for Adam, who was thrilled to become a father. I had always said that I didn't want kids because I am too impatient. I was nervous, scared, apprehensive, etc.

Ryenn and I, the first day home from the hospital
\However, after the worry about telling my mom wore off, I was beyond excited. I was growing a life! I was going to have a child. I found out at my first OB appointment that I was just under 16 weeks along when we found out. I was almost 20 weeks when we had our first OB, so we got our very first ultrasound right when we could find out the gender. We had names picked out before we headed into the office; Nolan for a boy and Layla for a girl. It was beyond amazing to see that little baby in there. We found out he was a HE! Seeing that little guy changed my life!
Nolan and I, about 2 weeks after his birth
I thought at that moment there would be no way I would love him any more than I already did. Then I started feeling him move! It was the best feeling in the world. That is until I felt him in my arms, heard his little cries, and kissed his little head. I cried. The day Nolan was born, my life was changed forever. I felt complete. I felt so much love. I felt life had a purpose. My husband and I were no longer just a married couple. On June 16th, we became a family! We had a little life to care for. Our love for him was amazingly strong.
Ryenn and I, at about 1 month old
Three short months later, I became pregnant with our daughter, Ryenn. I couldn't imagine loving another child as much as I loved Nolan. Yet when she was born, my heart grew. I loved her just as much as I loved her brother.
Nolan at 2 months old
My life would be no where near where it is today without those two babies. Adam and I would have gotten married a year later and I don't think I would have gone back to school. We both would be working just to work, rather than working towards a career we love. We wouldn't have the close relationship that we have with our families and possibly not each other. While we were in love before we had either of our children, it has been raising them together that continues to bring us closer.
Ryenn at 3 months old
Becoming a mother was something I never thought I would become. It wasn't something I wanted to become when you asked me at 21 years old. However, at 22 and after feeling those first fluttery movements of a baby kick in your belly, I couldn't imagine a different direction for my life. After Nolan was born, I realized that becoming a mother was exactly what I was born to become. I was put here in this world to be a mother. My life would lacking so much if I wasn't a mother.
One of Nolan's first days home!

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