Sunday, July 20, 2014

Spousal Sunday: Love and Respect

I have been reading the book Love and Respect with Adam. It seriously may be the best book I have ever read. While there are parts that are repetitive, it truly gives some amazing advice on marriage. With the numerous examples of terrible marriages in the world, Adam and I have vowed to take a proactive approach to our own marriage in order to give our children a first hand view of what a marriage should be.

Before anyone thinks that I am claiming we have a perfect marriage, let me just say that a perfect marriage does not exist. There will be fights (and yes we fight and bicker quite a bit), hurtful words said, and expectations not being met.

With that being said, what makes a great marriage is the reaction to those things. If you cannot discuss and work through these negative aspects of life, a marriage is doomed for failure. It cannot have one person working on it alone, two people not working on it at all, or two people avoiding confrontation by pretending issues do not exist.

I have learned through reading this book that the words we use effect each sex differently. A husband's main need in a marriage is respect whereas a woman's main need to love. While men need love and women need respect, they each respond more to the opposite. I have found that this book is one of the first that I have read where it is religion centered but can be successful for those who are nonbelievers or having one partner who does and one who doesn't.

My goal as a wife is to become the closest thing to a proverbs 31 wife, and I believe that this book is the first step to this. I will be letting you know how these methods and which follow up books seem to be the most beneficial.

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